I just had a big prayer session. I came to a realisation that there are so many things running around my head at the moment that I can't make sense of and feel no hope about. And yet, I had hardly prayed about any of them. In fact, my prayer life has been pretty sucky for a while now, and I think it reflected the way I had been feeling about God. Thinking, why isn't my life going anywhere? Why do I find no satisfaction with work? Why am I finding friendships and relationships so difficult and people so frustrating?
Then I realised, I hadn't prayed about any of these things. I just left them to stew in my mind with no input from God. I wasn't entrusting those things to God. I was entrusting them to myself.
So I had a big prayer time. And it was SO GOOD. Prayer is one of those things (for me anyway) that you know you're supposed to do it, but never put as a priority. For me, when I turned the light out at night, I'd suddenly remember, 'Oh yeh, I should pray.' But rarely do I ever just sit down and spend a large chunk of time just giving everything over to God.
There is something to be said about coming to the Creator of the Universe and saying, 'I am broken and I know it. I'm sorry, please help me' and knowing that this Great King is going to listen to you, not because of anything you've done or achieved or thought, but because His grace has secured a relationship with Him. Prayer is about humility, it's saying I can't run my life, God, I need you to intervene. And so prayer is something that I need to do in every area of my life. Even the stupidest smallest things. And definitely the bigger things.
So now I am feeling a lot better with the relationships in my life. I don't feel so down about where my life is at the moment. I'm not putting so much pressure on work to fulfil me. Because God is the only one who can do that, and making something GOOD that God has made and making it an idol will never fulfil me. Relationships, a family of my own, a job I'm passionate about - all good things but never things that will fulfil my ultimate need of forgiveness in Christ. Praise God for his goodness.
When was the last time you prayed?
