They say two are better than one...

I wish couples would be a bit more considerate.

As a single person I am constantly barraged by things in the media that tell me I need to be in a romantic relationship. My own desires tell me that I need to be in a relationship. And when I am around couples, that desire grows.

I was at Engage earlier this year, sitting in the congregation and trying to listen to what the awesome speakers were saying. In front of me was a couple, arms around each other, cuddling up to each other and, if I remember correctly, holding hands. I was left to sit behind them, unable to focus on the talk, as there was no way to just 'look away and try to forget it'. They were right in front of me, and there was nothing I could do about it. For me, it was a huge distraction that was barring me from real learning.

I just wish sometimes that couples would see past their own happiness and 'loved-up'-ness to see what their actions are doing to other people. I am trying so hard to practice contentment in my situation and to use my time effectively in this season of singleness. When I see display pics of couples looking into each others' eyes, kissing, or holding onto each other, there's something inside of me that goes, 'Hang on, why don't I have that? I want that! Why can't I have that?' It messes with my mind that is so desperately trying to convince itself that my worth does not come from having a romantic partner. It affects my self-esteem, I start feeling bad about myself, negative self-talk ensues until I forget about it and consciously try to perk up (prayer helps too).

I am not saying that people shouldn't be happy. I know that romantic relationships can bring much joy, and I am genuinely happy for people who have found someone that they like to spend time with, and that person also likes to spend time with you, too. Please just consider that your single peers are struggling sometimes and that your actions can magnify that struggle for them. There is a time for everything, please don't be so loved-up when you're at church, or in a group. Church is a place where we are all one in Christ Jesus, so let's look out for each other.

Philippians 2:1-4 ¹If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ²then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. ³Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. ⁴Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Away with your noisy worship...

So music is awesome, right? I think we all know that. Excluding Jesus its gotta be at least top 5 best blessings God has given the world. But there's a lot of dodgy music out there. And I'm sad to say, a lot of that dodgy music is Christian music!

Now, I know that us Christians can be PARTICULARLY picky about Christian music, especially Christian musicians. A lot of it is 'pop' music, or pretty manufactured. It's missing a depth, a certain mood that really punctures our hearts and turns simple words into life-giving mantras. Maybe it's just an Indie ideal, but I like my music to have depth, lyrics that MEAN something, and music that imprints those words on my mind for the next 5 minutes, 2 hours, or week. And I think there are too little Christian artists out there creating this kind of music. You might wanna let me know about the good ones.

Cue Jon Foreman. Who? I hear you say. That guy from Australian Idol that does all the music? I'm pretty sure that's JoHn Foreman, haha! No, this Jon Foreman is the lead singer from Switchfoot. He's gone all solo side project on his Switchfoot bandmates, and released four EPs: Summer, Spring, Autumn and Winter.

There's something different about this guy from all the other Christian artists out there, I can hear it in the music. There's a depth to his music that I've never encountered. The lyrics are so obviously inspired by the bible, almost word for word in some songs. There's always a danger in doing this, I can think of a few church songs that have tried this and failed. (Try fitting 10 syllabus in one line of music. Doesn't make for a musically uplifting experience.) But JF does it so well, and I think that it works because the music supporting it is real. Polyrhythms, unconventional instrument use, passionate and breathy vocal tones all combine to make music that, for me, is the right temperature to warm and penetrate my heart.

It's hard to put it into words. The right music can alert me to the truths of Scripture in a way that just reading them could never do. JF's music takes the truths of God and writes them in my heart. Listening 'White as Snow' with my bible open at Psalm 51, it is as though the words on the page are alive. 'Equally Skilled' gives life to Micah 7. I want 'Your Love is Strong' (a new take on the Lord's Prayer and Matthew 6:25-34) as my wedding processional :).

I am so thankful that there are Christians out there putting their all into making music that MEANS something. If music ministry is a Word ministry, surely meditating on God's words and engraving them into our hearts with music is a worthwhile thing to do. God does the work: 'I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.' Jeremiah 31:33.

Believe, believe in me

I have been watching a lot of One Tree Hill recently, and one of the features of the show is the voice-over by the character called Lucas Scott. His reflections on life enhance the drama of the show, and it always ends with something he's learned about life. Usually it's a fact that can apply to anyone.

Now I don't agree with everything that goes on in the show, but it seems to me to have more substance than most of the other teen dramas out there. I think I am particularly drawn to the couple Hayley and Nathan, who were married in their teens and have a kid in their last year of high school. The awesome thing about this couple is that they always stay together, no matter what they go through.

I think one thing that Tree Hill gets right in terms of living life is that the show is centred around relationships. There's a strong moral that if you don't have real friends and/or a real relationship, then life isn't going to be good. Relationships bring meaning to life, and are the reason for life.

I think that life is about relationships. Number 1, first and foremost, is our relationship with God. Every other relationship must stem from our understanding of God and His relationship with us. Second is our relationship to other people. God created us for relationship with each other, and I am learning that God wants us to treat people in certain ways. God wants us to spend effort and time on people. It's soooo easy to spend time on ourselves. But there is infinitely more to gain from spending time with other people, ministering to them, encouraging them, just hanging with them!

I think sometimes I have weird relationships with people. I feel discontent with my friendships. Like, I find it really hard to talk to people who are older than me who I respect. Or guys. And I think that a lot of the time I put up boundaries, so it takes a long time for people to get to know me and how I think. And a lot of what makes me me are my beliefs and attitudes, which are under the surface of this blonde head. Which can make me hard to understand. At least, in my perception anyway. Maybe everyone thinks they're weird in some way. And I think also, that I am more self-conscious than I realise, and sometimes I'll squash my real self because I'm afraid I'll make a fool of myself in front of people that I don't want to lose face to.

I always keep myself in check by reminding myself that One Tree Hill, the OC, Twilight - they're all pre-scripted dramas in which peoples' lives are mapped out - and that doesn't happen in reality. You won't have the perfect situation, with the perfect people, and say the perfect thing. This is life, and it isn't perfect. If you realise this, then I think it's easier to remain content, instead of thinking, 'Why don't I have the same relationships with people as Brooke, Hayley and Lucas have?' I know that godliness with contentment is great gain.

Phil 4:12-13: ¹²I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³I can do everything through him who gives me strength.'

Thank God for Jesus who restores our relationship with God and each other.